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When you're sitting on your couch on a quiet Monday night searching the Web for a decent trending topic and the almighty Twitter gods give you Doink the Clown, you take it. And if you happen to have a goat, it's polite to offer them a sacrifice. I was fresh out of goats, so I murdered a Klondike Bar.

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SI.com: Loretta Hunt: Cormier can pen storybook ending Saturday with Strikeforce titleupdated: Fri May 18 2012 16:38:00

Daniel Cormier Jr. wants his father's attention and he wants it now.

'Dancing with the Stars' reveals season 14 castupdated: Tue Feb 28 2012 12:19:00

The upcoming season of ABC's "Dancing with the Stars" could be the most difficult yet for the popular series.

People.com: Stacy Keibler: 5 Things to Know About the Former Wrestlerupdated: Mon Sep 12 2011 18:09:00

George Clooney's latest, a DWTS alum and former wrestler, is a "guys' girl"

SI.com: Jeff Wagenheim: Q&A with Brock Lesnarupdated: Fri Jun 03 2011 19:08:00

Ramsey Nijem and Tony Ferguson will be in Las Vegas on Saturday night, competing for the fighter contract the UFC awards to the winner of its reality TV show, The Ultimate Fighter. They're the last two survivors in the season-long game of musical chairs.

Retired wrestler 'Macho Man' Randy Savage, 58, dies in crashupdated: Tue May 24 2011 11:45:00

Retired pro wrestler "Macho Man" Randy Savage, 58, was killed Friday morning in Seminole, Florida, when the Jeep he was driving jumped a median and hit a tree, the Florida Highway Patrol said.

SI.com: The Bonus: Randy (Macho Man) Savage's first love was baseballupdated: Mon May 23 2011 14:30:00

He sat home for two straight days, waiting ... waiting ... waiting.

Feds target popular website they say distributed pirated events, showsupdated: Fri Mar 04 2011 12:57:00

The popular website ChannelSurfing.net has been shut down and its owner charged with distributing pirated TV shows, first-run movies, and sporting events protected under copyright laws.

CNNMoney: U.S. seizes 10 sports streaming websitesupdated: Wed Feb 02 2011 15:40:00

Ten websites that were allegedly engaged in the live streaming of major sporting events have been seized and shut down by authorities, the government said Wednesday.

SI.com: Pablo Torre: Former WWE wrestler Chris Nowinski becomes leading figure in head trauma researchupdated: Tue Nov 30 2010 12:52:00

Sports Illustrated will announce its choice for Sportsman of the Year on Nov. 29. Here's one of the nominations for that honor by an SI writer.

Connecticut secretary of state says WWE apparel OK at polling placesupdated: Tue Oct 26 2010 22:34:00

World Wrestling Entertainment chief Vince McMahon filed a lawsuit Tuesday against Connecticut's secretary of state after she said poll workers should enforce a state law banning campaign material, including clothing, within 75 feet of the entrance to a polling place.

Republicans upset over Connecticut move to limit WWE gear at the pollsupdated: Sat Oct 23 2010 07:41:00

Republicans lashed out Friday after the Connecticut secretary of state said poll workers would have the right to ask voters wearing World Wrestling Entertainment merchandise to cover up because it could be considered campaigning.

Fast-food patron, manager go 'WWE' on would-be robberupdated: Thu Oct 21 2010 15:09:00

A man eating at his favorite fast-food restaurant took action Sunday night during an attempted armed robbery, teaming up with the store's manager to tackle the gunman and hold him down until police arrived.

Ex-wrestling CEO wins Senate primaryupdated: Fri Aug 13 2010 10:18:00

Former World Wrestling Entertainment CEO Linda McMahon talks about running for U.S. Senate in Connecticut.

SI.com: Jeff Pearlman: Entering surreal world of pro wrestling -- at a high school gymupdated: Fri Mar 26 2010 17:06:00

Only in professional wrestling can the guy who mows your lawn ask you to ring a red bell with a wrench while holding Steve Off's vest. But that's what happened recently -- the guy who mows my lawn asked me to ring a red bell with a wrench while holding Steve Off's vest. A silver vest. Flimsy material. The lawn mower e-mailed me ... said, "How would you feel about being the celebrity timekeeper at a wrestling match featuring Superfly Snuka?"

Wrestlers grapple with problems in, out of the ringupdated: Sun Dec 06 2009 07:30:00

The death of World Wrestling Entertainment superstar Edward Fatu, who wrestled under the name "Umaga," has sparked discussion in wrestling circles over the rigors of the sport.

Wrestler, personality Captain Lou Albano dies at 76updated: Wed Oct 14 2009 13:46:00

Legendary wrestling figure Captain Lou Albano, perhaps best known for his association with pop singer Cyndi Lauper, died Wednesday, according to World Wrestling Entertainment.

SI.com: Jon Werthiem: UFC fighter Brock Lesnar is ready for an all-time paydayupdated: Sat Mar 28 2009 19:00:00

The Ultimate Fighting Championship has penetrated the defenses of the mainstream with an assault that relies heavily on flash and glitz. UFC fights are flush with pulsating lights and market-tested music and celebrities du jour: Mandy Moore, 50 Cent, Paris Hilton. In between the 20 or so cards held each year, UFC fans troll forums and other online destinations -- that is, when they're not watching the reality show The Ultimate Fighter.

Forbes fires Floyd's uncle in family rowupdated: Fri Mar 21 2008 09:20:00

Steve Forbes has fired Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s uncle ahead of his May 3 clash with Oscar de la Hoya -- and replaced him as trainer with another member of the flamboyant World Boxing Council welterweight champion's family.

SI.com: Pramit Mohapatra : Vegas showdown UFC-styleupdated: Fri Feb 01 2008 09:48:00

While the most common topics leading up to Super Bowl XLII this weekend are the Patriots run for a perfect season and Tom Brady's ankle, the Ultimate Fighting Championship has its own questions to answer Saturday at UFC 81 in Las Vegas.

Time.com: The Fort Dix Conspiracyupdated: Thu Dec 06 2007 00:00:00

Preventing terrorist strikes that may never happen is a messy business. How a Circuit City clerk, the FBI and an ex-con landed five men in jail on charges of plotting to attack a military base

Vince McMahon speaks outupdated: Sun Nov 11 2007 13:54:00

CNN's Drew Griffin talks with WWE Chairman Vince McMahon about allegations of steroid abuse in pro wrestling.

Former star blames health issues on steroids, lifestyle of wrestlerupdated: Sun Nov 11 2007 13:54:00

The late Chris Benoit idolized the Dynamite Kid, who was half of a professional wrestling team famous in the 1980s for spectacular high-flying, acrobatic moves.

Clues inside Benoit's brainupdated: Wed Sep 05 2007 01:13:00

Clues inside Benoit's brain

SI.com: Frank Deford: The deadly nature of pro wrestlingupdated: Wed Aug 22 2007 01:09:00

Imagine, if you will, that in the last decade 186 men who had played major league baseball died before they were 50. Imagine that in that same time 435 men who had played in the NFL likewise died before they were 50.

People.com: Former WWE Wrestler 'Crush' Found Deadupdated: Tue Aug 14 2007 13:03:00

Brian Adams, a former World Wrestling Entertainment star known to fans as Crush, was found dead Monday of undetermined causes, the WWE reports.

Schooled on hard knocks, wrestler educates others on brain injuriesupdated: Mon Jul 30 2007 05:07:00

Chris Nowinski's professional wrestling career didn't end with a pink slip or a celebratory sendoff, but with a swift kick to his chin.

People.com: Official: Chris Benoit's Son Was Sedated When Killedupdated: Wed Jul 18 2007 12:44:00

Chris Benoit injected himself with testosterone before killing his wife and son and then committing suicide last month, officials said Tuesday.

People.com: Mourners Remember Chris Benoit's Wife and Sonupdated: Mon Jul 16 2007 16:33:00

As friends and family gathered in Florida this weekend to mourn Chris Benoit's wife Nancy and 7-year-old son Daniel, questions remained as to what caused the professional wrestler to kill his family and then himself - specifically, whether steroids played a role in the tragedy.

People.com: Wrestler Chris Benoit's Father Speaks Outupdated: Mon Jul 02 2007 11:43:00

The father of Chris Benoit spoke out Friday, saying he had no idea why his son killed his wife and child and then committed suicide - but is anxious to see the results of toxicology tests.

People.com: Chris Benoit's Web Bio Gets a Chilling Updateupdated: Fri Jun 29 2007 17:02:00

Somebody altered Chris Benoit's Wikipedia entry to mention his wife's death - before her body was found.

People.com: DEA Raids Office of Chris Benoit's Doctorupdated: Fri Jun 29 2007 13:03:00

Drug agents raided the office of Chris Benoit's personal physician, a spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Administration in Atlanta has confirmed to PEOPLE.

People.com: WWE Head Calls Chris Benoit 'A Monster'updated: Thu Jun 28 2007 21:52:00

Video courtesy of NBC.

People.com: WWE Releases Text Messages from Benoit Tragedyupdated: Wed Jun 27 2007 22:32:00

World Wrestling Entertainment has released a timeline and five cryptic text messages related to the Chris Benoit tragedy.

Time.com: Cops: Wrestler Kills Family, Then Selfupdated: Wed Jun 27 2007 17:40:00

Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official said

People.com: WWE Star Chris Benoit Asphyxiated Wife, Sonupdated: Wed Jun 27 2007 14:50:00

World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit asphyxiated his wife Nancy and their 7-year-old son Daniel before hanging himself, Fayette County Sheriff's Department's Lt. Tommy Pope said at a press conference outside the Benoit home on Tuesday.

'Roid rage' questions surround Benoit murder-suicideupdated: Wed Jun 27 2007 08:58:00

The discovery of anabolic steroids in pro-wrestler Chris Benoit's home has raised speculation that the performance-enhancing drugs may be linked to his death and the killings of his wife and young son.

SI.com: The 10 Spot: April 2, 2007updated: Mon Apr 02 2007 09:25:00

1. Donald Trump's wrestler won his match against Vince McMahon's guy in Sunday night's Wrestlemania 23, meaning Trump didn't have to shave his hair. That's great news to the homeless family that's been living there.

SI.com: Countdown to Wrestlemaniaupdated: Sun Apr 01 2007 10:03:00

SI.com's Arash Markazi once again skipped out on the Final Four and instead decided to check out the Super Bowl of professional wrestling, WrestleMania. He will check in with several updates from the scene through Monday.

CNNMoney: Wrestling's 'Trump' cardupdated: Fri Mar 30 2007 09:12:00

Donald Trump may lose his hair after WrestleMania 23 on April 1. But World Wrestling Entertainment investors might have to worry about losing a lot more if the company's big pay-per-view event isn't a success: their shirts.

CNNMoney: WWE: 'Fake' sport...real earningsupdated: Mon Jun 12 2006 09:28:00

Investors may feel like they have been caught in a choke hold for the past month and a half. But shareholders of World Wrestling Entertainment have market bears pinned to the mat.

CNNMoney: New CW network: who wins, who losesupdated: Tue Jan 24 2006 13:26:00

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) - Who will be the big winner from the creation of the new CW television network? Here's a hint. It might not be CW or even the other major TV networks.

CNNMoney: iPods rock, Tasers shockupdated: Fri Dec 30 2005 11:33:00

For many, now is the time to look back and judge whether or not the past 12 months have been fruitful.

CNNMoney: We're so moneyupdated: Fri Jul 01 2005 10:38:00

It's been a tough stock-picking environment for investors so far this year. The major indexes all finished the first half of 2005 slightly in the red.

CNNMoney: WWE: Get in the ring!updated: Fri May 20 2005 09:56:00

Where on Wall Street can you get dropkicked, clotheslined and paid a dividend which yields more than most Treasury bonds? Why, with shares of World Wrestling Entertainment, of course.

CNNMoney: Jakks not fretting the holidaysupdated: Tue Oct 19 2004 10:02:00

With its stellar quarterly results and surprisingly bullish holiday forecast, toymaker Jakks Pacific delivered a one-two punch Tuesday that threatened to make industry big guns Mattel and Hasbro sound like a pair of whiners.

FSB: Misleading Indicatorsupdated: Fri Oct 01 2004 00:01:00

Plenty of small businesses are hiring these days, but none of the owners I know are bringing on staff economists. Instead they are reduced to tracking economic trends the same way I do: scanning bu...

Bush twins attend 'R: The Party'updated: Mon Aug 30 2004 15:48:00

First twins Barbara and Jenna Bush, the president's 22-year-old daughters, made a Hollywood-style arrival Sunday at "R: The Party," the Republican convention's first big celebrity bash.

FSB: Power Playupdated: Sat Nov 01 2003 00:01:00

It may not be the Superdome, but last month a bar called Rookie's in Clear Lake, Iowa, hosted an honest-to-goodness professional sports event: a World Championship Arm Wrestling competition. Inspir...

Money Magazine: Sin Stocksupdated: Fri Nov 01 2002 00:01:00

The new Vice Fund invests in companies deriving revenue from "products often considered socially irresponsible," including alcohol and tobacco. But if you really want to be bad, these stocks each o...

Fortune: Tech, Tales, Top Gunsupdated: Mon Oct 29 2001 00:01:00

Post-Sept. 11, the already beaten-down tech sector briefly enjoyed a nice little rebound. Surely, many investors were telling themselves, once-mighty stocks (and still well-run companies) like Cisc...

Fortune: Football Gets an Xtreme Makeoverupdated: Mon Feb 05 2001 00:01:00

World Wrestling Federation impresario Vince McMahon calls the NFL the "No Fun League," and so far everything about his WWF-style football spinoff, which debuts Feb. 3, seems Xtremely Fun. His game ...

Money Magazine: Can I Tap My Daughter's UGMA Account to Fund a 529 College Savings Plan?updated: Thu Feb 01 2001 00:01:00

Q. I established a state-sponsored 529 college savings plan for my daughter. Prior to this, her college savings went into a custodial account set up in her name under the Uniform Gift to Minors Act...

Fortune: Sweat-Equity Timeupdated: Mon Oct 16 2000 00:01:00

If it seems to you that business news has gotten a little bizarre lately, I would submit that it's because business itself has become somewhat bizarre. Consider the professional wrestling promoter,...

Fortune: Inside The World's Weirdest Family Business WALL STREET WANTS TO IGNORE THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION. VINCE updated: Mon Oct 16 2000 00:01:00

The 20,000 fans packing the Raleigh Durham Sports Arena are all on their feet. It's late August, it's SummerSlam--one of the World Wrestling Federation's biggest events--and Shane McMahon is scalin...

Fortune: Who Wants to Own A TV Network?updated: Mon Mar 06 2000 00:01:00

Just as No. 5 network UPN experiences a renaissance, regularly besting mini-rival the WB, co-owners Viacom and Chris-Craft wrangle over its fate. Frustrated by the negotiations, Viacom wants out; i...

Fortune: Stop Making Sense... That's the Best Way to Start Making Money THAT CRAZY NEW ECONOMYupdated: Mon Oct 25 1999 00:01:00

Niels Bohr, Denmark's father of quantum physics, once confided that the problem he had with a proposed theorem wasn't that it sounded crazy, but that it didn't sound crazy enough. He was right. Bac...

Fortune: Smackdown! The battle between AT&T, MCI WorldCom, and Sprint looks like a professional wrestling match. Will investors end uupdated: Mon Oct 11 1999 00:01:00

In July, Sprint fired the opening salvo in the latest long-distance price war, offering calls for 5 cents a minute. That move has fueled a rivalry as heated as any World Wrestling Federation-style ...

Money Magazine: Companies To Watchupdated: Sat May 01 1999 00:01:00

RENAL CARE GROUP A long-term prescription for kidney patients

Fortune: CLINCHING THE DEAL: HULK TO TIME WARNER!updated: Mon Oct 16 1995 00:01:00

The reason Time Warner is buying Turner Broadcasting for $7.5 billion is of course that the company covets Turner's choice media properties: CNN, TBS, the Atlanta Braves, and MGM's film library. Bu...

Fortune: COMPANIES TO WATCHupdated: Mon Dec 31 1990 00:01:00

FEDERAL SIGNAL Where there's smoke, there are fire trucks -- most often Federal Signal's. This diversified manufacturer, based in Oak Brook, Illinois, makes more fire engines than any other company...

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